Suicide isnt an option, keep telling yourself that. And now I have the means to do it. Im afraid to try again and it just adds for anger, desperation, loss of control over my own life and guilt for those in my life who have to worry. 19-year-old Sydney West was last seen Sept. 30. Rhodes press agent, Susan Todd, told reporters that Dusty had painstakingly calculated the speed of his fall, how he would hit the water and other details, as he did when he prepared for his movie stunts. For suicidal individuals and their loved ones, survivors, mental health professionals, & others who care, Although severe depression led him to jump off the bridge, Kevin Hines, Yet it gives me great hope that the vast majority of suicide attempt survivors remain just that survivors. She talked to herfather on the phone the day before shewent missing. I saw him hit the water like a bullet, said his wife. Her family is not giving up hope that she is still alive and remains determined to find her. Copyright 2013 Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, All Rights Reserved. Although severe depression led him to jump off the bridge, Kevin Hines has stated: The very second I let go, I knew I had made a big mistake.. The main principle to this is very simple Taking energy and harnessing it for the good and nothing can go wrong.. This case has always stuck with me because I am in my 20s and suffer from anxiety and depression. 18 I held a gun to my head in my backyard w my finger on the trigger. Thats simply not true, but it took stepping outside my beliefs, becoming teachable and following the leads of others to find a life worth living. When I woke up a day later, my depression had greatly improved. Afterward, I was disgusted and angry. Horrified spectators screamed and mothers covered their childrens eyes as Chief Sundowns lifeless body bobbed under the bridge and out to sea. "This will be the biggest jump of my life," he told her. The man who tried to find fame by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. I inherited two guns from my Dad, and I will take possession of them this month. Between 1937 and 2012, an estimated 1,400 bodies were recovered of people who had jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, located in the San Francisco Bay Area in the United States.. I am not sure anybody really wants to die but I know many people, including myself, who are just sick and tired of living and want it to be over. Email: joshua.bote@sfgate.com and Signal: 707-742-3756, Six months after student's disappearance in San Francisco, family continues search, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. It amazes me that the vast majority of suicides are by men, and virtually all of the articles about it are by women. She had moved in with friends in San Francisco, where she was living when she disappeared. I guess I have started to realize its not my faultits no ones fault when a loved one commits suicide. Berkeley. My failure as a person was responsible for my extreme step. A. 2023 Audacy, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. There were probably signs that you had a drinking problem from the very beginning. It was a startling revelation. Many self harm injuries, stitches. Her family launched a website,findsydneywest.com, that they hope will remind the community Sydney is still missing. In fact, the increase in suicides at other locations in Toronto did not make up for the dramatic decrease in suicides at the viaduct itself. So they dont die, but continue miserable lives wishing for it to be over. Since Sept. 30, there has been no activity on her phone or credit cards. Search within r/redsox. How Parents Can Support a Child With Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Survivor Stories Empowered Me to Live, How Ive Survived and Thrived with Suicidal Thoughts, A Personal Note to Readers of Speaking of Suicide, Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals, psychotherapist and consultant in private practice. Also, I've authored the books Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals and Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: What Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say and Do. If you havent already joined a support group for other suicide loss survivors, that might help you; such groups are available in person and online. It gives me a good opportunity to dispel concerns that others may have, too. I fantasize a lot about suicide. West, 19, disappeared on a foggy San Francisco morning, around 6:45 a.m. to 7 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30 on the Golden Gate Bridge. According to her family, a private investigator has followed up on dozens of. The Golden Gate Bridge, which first opened in May 1937, was the most popular suicide site in the world during the documentary's filming, with approximately 1,200 deaths by 2003. I feel selfish but I feel like I still have to be brave for people because of their fear I might try again. The chances of surviving. So it is with anything else, including suicidal thoughts. For those who are thinking about suicide, I know what happens after youre gone isnt part of the thought process, but believe me, you might end your pain, but the trajectory of pain caused to others is also insurmountable. Growing up Sydney was described as a sweet and goofy girl who wasnt afraid of being herself. The. She was last seen in the area around 6:45 a.m. She vanished without a trace from San Francisco, California, near the Golden Gate Bridge, a popular tourist spot for many. She failed at killing herself and learned a different process of questions to see her feelings. Maybe some of the posts on this site could be helpful to him? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Ive worked in Mental health, Ive lost a family member through suicide. Or, at least, balanced! This Walking Pad treadmill made getting 10,000 steps a How to get tickets for Depeche Mode's new tour dates. I interviewed her parents.https://t.co/tiBGM53NZz pic.twitter.com/lvHh2cCrZg. I said, Well, the night we met I got so drunk I passed out on the living room floor. Anyone with information is asked to call 415-575-4444. How could I have been so stupid? What happens to them afterward? All rights reserved. As his wife described, without the weighted boots to keep him upright, Rhodes' body arched forward, eventually meeting the water face-first. She grew up in Pleasanton, CA and then moved to Chapel Hill, NC with her family during high school. This Walking Pad treadmill made getting 10,000 steps a How to get tickets for Depeche Mode's new tour dates. West was in the Bay Area to take summer classes at UC Berkeley; she was supposed to enter school in the fall, but due to a concussion she sustained and classes being held remotely, she opted to defer for another year but stayed in California with family friends. Im here. Even though 2/3 are started by women, Virtually every article is written by women. And the children are adults now. Of the 515 people whose attempt was interrupted, only 35 later died by suicide in the years to come. Simply put unless you die the battle won or pain doesnt matter. I am hopeful that similar results will be found after the suicide barrier at the Golden Gate bridge is in place. The 265-foot plunge off the most famous bridge in the world was right in his wheelhouse, until it wasnt. Challenges, extreme challenges. For me, the will to live kicked in. I feel fortunate and very grateful that so many individuals take their time and devote energy to sharing what they have experienced in their lives-it is so difficult for most people to understand in its wholeness-the value of life ..the science of every day living and the extreme depth and mystery and solstice to human beings, but one way to start understanding why people: innocents commit suicide is to acknowlege the exact factors of why a healthy person would just turn off the switch to existence. Enter your email address to receive notifications by email of new posts. I address the myth of inevitable suicide in this post. More women attempt suicide but more men complete it because men use more lethal methods. It is believed that she had moved out of the dorms into an apartment with some friends near campus. So when crazy people did crazy things in public places, excited crowds would gather. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I was able to make it out of the hopelessness and despair that led to my attempt. West was born in Walnut Creek and lived briefly in Castro Valley before her family moved to Pleasanton. She was carrying a black backpack and her light brown hair was pulled back into a bun. In this clinical case conference, the authors begin by presenting vignettes to capture the diversity of bridge suicide. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Will I Be Committed to a Mental Hospital if I Tell a Therapist about my Suicidal Thoughts? But 10 years later, Im there again. Its impossible to know but something to consider, in case youre only considering the set of possibilities for which you blame yourself. Holidays and milestones come and go while we continue to feelSydney's absence continuously. He traveled from L.A. to San Francisco days before the jump to prepare, and holed up in the Grand Southern Hotel on Mission Street with his cameraman to wait for a clear day so the footage would look beautiful when it was watched on news channels from coast to coast. Even though a prior suicide attempt dramatically increases the risk for future suicide, studies have demonstrated that most people who survive a suicide attempt do not go on to die by suicide: There are different possible reasons why people who attempt suicide, or try to make such an attempt, might choose afterward to stay alive. He has no one else but me. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. At 11:45 a.m. on Sept. 20, 2013 Kyle Gamboa stopped his truck in the middle of the highway, stepped out, ran onto the pedestrian walkway and jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge to his death. Email: Andrew.Chamings@sfgate.com | Twitter: @AndrewChamings. Sydney West was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge in the early morning hours of Sept. 30, walking near Crissy Field. SAN FRANCISCO (CBS SF) The family of a UC Berkeley freshman who disappeared last September has offered a $10,000 reward for information in connection with the case. Your email address will not be published. Once her gap year was over, she moved back to California decided to attend U.C. The tragedy of suicide is indisputable. It was apparently very foggy that morning. 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When I arrived at the #FindSydneyWest vigil in Pleasanton, I said whoever is singing has a beautiful voice. All 29 people who survived their suicide attempts off San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge have said they regretted their decision as soon as they jumped. I couldnt pull all the way. What Dr. Seiden found is a remarkable testament to the fact that a suicidal crisis is often very often temporary. Both my son and I said we woud never consider it again, after that. It seems to be an if all else fails, Ill just kill myself attempt to cope that gives me short-term comfort but itlike alcoholonly provides temporary relief and Im still left with my limited ability to cope with life. Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts. Has left me pretty much bankrupt and not willing to live. 2023 Audacy, Inc. All rights reserved. Rhodes had been seeking fame all his life, and successfully became one of Hollywoods first stuntmen, appearing in movies such as "Under Arizona Skies" and "Duel in the Sun," in which he performed a cliff jump. I am sure your little self felt am I not lovable enough but it was never about you, your mum was in pain and obviously thought you would be better off without her, but it is not a reflection on you, hard to accept as children are programmed to feel the centre of the world. Has he tried cognitive behavior therapy? Its death toll has since been surpassed only by the Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge in China.. They have a good, nonjudgmental, and supportive discussions at ChronicSuicideSupport.com/forum/. After graduating high school in 2019, she decided to take a gap year in Australia. The longitude and latitude for the Bridge location is approximately: N 37 Degrees, 49 Minutes, 8.0 Seconds --- W 122 Degrees, 28 Minutes, 40.6 Seconds. West took a rideshare service to the Golden Gate Bridge; the driver cooperated with San Francisco police and is not believed to be a suspect. and the evidence around them is not good. One desperate and hurt person to another. Sydney Harbour Bridge, the Golden Gate lacks a suicide barrier . . But it was my final stay at a state mental hospital when I began reading a book that finally spoke to me: Dying for a Drink, and for the first time in my life I recognized the fact that I was an alcoholic and that I had been treating major depression with a depressant. I am a survivor as well of rape and spousal abuse, Am feeling empowered today, thanks to you. He recovered physically, but mentally he is now depressed and on anti-depressants,has anxiety attacks, is too emotional for working, and keeps saying he wishes he had succeeded with his attempt as he feels a burden to everyone. Rhodes, who also went by his native Navajo name Chief Sundown, was no stranger to danger. We remain hopeful that someone knows something that will be helpful in finding her.. Between 1937 and 2012, an estimated 1,400 bodies were recovered of people who had jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, located in the San Francisco Bay Area in the United States. Some die instantly from internal injuries, while others . It is wonderful that having children seems to have inoculated you against suicidal thoughts. Precious few people survive such a fall; the water about 200 feet below acts the same as concrete when a person lands on it at high speed. The West family has also upped its reward for her return to $25,000. To request removal of your name from an arrest report, submit these required items to arrestreports@patch.com. All clues so far, the family has revealed, have not been fruitful. We are going to keep looking.. I am so glad my attempt did not end in my death. Here I thought I just occasionally drank too much. Somehow I survived. Her father grew worried when she didnt call the next day the day she was last spotted in San Francisco. Clad in two suits, weighted boots, football padding, another rubber suit and a football helmet that onlookers described as giving him a man-from-Mars look, Rhodes also had three parachutes on his back to ease his fall. Aside from seeing a therapist, I didnt find anything out there to help. I agree with you completely, Anonymous. Thank you for sharing, Stacy. The instant regret of jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge did not result in instant mental health recovery once Hines survived. Sydney Kaitlyn West, 19, was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge around 6:45 a.m. on September 30, 2020. Thanks for sharing, Anne. You can learn more about me here. I hope you can find peace within. . Thats why I searched for answers and I found this site. I want you to know you are loveable and precious. Except that my fiance was making me depressed because he wouldnt move in with me again like how we were living together before. It was a serious, intentional attempt to end my own life. Everything says Get help. The Golden Gate Bridge crosses the Golden Gate Strait and connects the City of San Francisco and the County of Marin to the north. Ken Baldwin. Its a really simple concept. Sign promoting a 24/7 crisis text line on the Golden Gate Bridge. Sydney Kaitlyn West, 19, was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge around 6:45 a.m. on September 30, 2020. Had she jumped somebody definitely would have noticed, and it would've been caught on CCTV (the cameras are placed on light poles so fog does not block). My overdose gave me seizures. Car plunges off California elevated highway, 3 people killed. I wonder what psychotherapy he has tried. Millions of eyes are going to locate her better than 20 sets, Jay West said. According to Find Sydney West, there is a $25,000 reward for information that leads to finding Syd, who is described as 5'10 tall and about 130 pounds with blue eyes and blonde hair. He now works daily, and diligently, to manage continued symptoms that can include depression and hearing voices. I wear various hats: I created and maintain this website, Speaking of Suicide, I'm an associate professor at the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work, and I have a psychotherapy and consulting practice. The corpse was pulled from the water by the Coast Guard a mile from the bridge 20 minutes later. You might be helped by connecting with other people who have attempted suicide and can understand not only what can lead a person to do that, but also what comes after. After my attempt at suicide, I tried to find information about my feelings and what others were feeling. I hear you. I cant get beyond the pain. Missing person: The San Francisco Police Department is asking the public to report any information regarding 19-year-old Sydney West who was last seen on Sept. 30, 2020, at SF's Crissy Field. For more information, click here. Suicide prevention can save lives. She attempted suicide three times and was in mental hospitals, etc. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. January 25, 2021 / 11:03 AM Her Disappearance: Sydney West was a 19-year-old freshman at U.C. Perfectly so. My mother battled w depression I watched her battle hard all my life and still. She was last seen wearing a light teal hoodie, dark leggings, and slip-on vans sneakers with dark green and black print. She is 5 10 tall and weighs 130 pounds. The family of a Sydney West, a 19-year-old Pleasanton native and former Foothill High School student, is again asking the public for any information about their daughters whereabouts leading up to her disappearance last month in San Francisco. Dressed in a blue sweatshirt, leggings and Vans slip-on sneakers,. Good luck to your friend, Julie, and thanks for commenting. Turns out, it was a recording of Sydney singing. I meant it, and I almost succeeded. Andrew was formerly a Creative Executive at Westbrook Studios. But the cameras lost sight of her because of heavy fog, making it impossible to know what happened. September 30, 2020 was the last time anyone saw or heard from 19-year-old Sydney West. I hate when people invalidate another persons pain by suggesting a suicide attempt wasnt a sincere result of suffering. God Bless You. And half of people who die by suicide had attempted suicide at least once previously. The articles abstract states: Following the interventions, there was an 86% reduction in jumping suicides per year at the sites in question (95% CI 79% to 91%). Interviews with jump survivors and potential jumpers . Any information could help so if you know anyone that was in that area around that time, please use contact information provided below. Such an assumption would be wrong. While in Australia she started blogging about beginning to experience bouts of depression on top of her anxiety. He managed to turn himself upright in the few seconds it took for him to hit the water; this way, he did not land on his head. I still think about suicide, although not as often. For his big ticket to stardom, Rhodes was inspired by a circus performer named Frank Cushing who was plucked out of the bay the previous year after claiming that he had just leaped from the bridge, though no one was there to see it. I just read your post. I know that this surprises many people. Rhodes was the 90th person to jump to their death from the bridge in its short 11 year history, but the first who wanted to survive. We will never recover from it. This research, though 35 years old, still holds true. "No detail is too small," said her mother, Kimberly West. Sure if youve got someone/s to bail you out after your attempt, yeah youve got a reason to live. And there ended Rhodes four-years-in-the-making attempt to wow crowds and find fame by jumping from the bridge into the bay. East Bay Wine & Whimsy (Metaphysical Market), Before & After Photos Show CA's Snowpack, Reservoirs After Storms, Best Bay Area Sandwiches + Stranded Hiker Rescued: Saturday Smiles, Sprawling Estates, Suburban Dreams: 11 Featured Bay Area Homes, Berkeley Police Warn Of Vehicle Theft Rise, The Poop On Free-Range Cats And Your Lawn And Garden [Block Talk]. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Cameras on the Golden Gate Bridge recorded Sydney the morning of Sept. 30. Required fields are marked *. My husband killed himself 6 weeks ago at home to put a closure on our marital problem. Now I dont know if I can fight it, but coping with failure and constant depression is impossible. She was at Crissy Field, near the bridge. Woke up yesterday and realized I needed to make another pilgrimage before the series begins. Its sad how much youve suffered, and its inspirational how differently you feel right now. You can read more about this at http://www.bmj.com/content/341/bmj.c4447. As of 2013, it is estimated that 34 people have survived after jumping. and our There is only a 4ft safety rail separating the sidewalk from the void, and 98% of suicide attempts there have succeeded. There is not much known about the day Sydney disappeared. I attempted when I was a teenager. For more information, please see our At least twelve hundred people have been seen jumping or have been found in the water since the bridge opened, in 1937, including Roy Raymond, the founder of Victoria's Secret, in 1993, and. Now I wonder whether I also pressed reset on my brain. At times I hate myself. I often think that if we are going to make up what we tell ourselves about our future, we might at least make it good. Sydney West never returned home, and has not been heard from since. She was last seen in long, dark leggings, a teal hooded sweatshirt and slip-on Vans in a dark green and black print. Please enter valid email address to continue. At approximately 6:45 am, Sydney was captured by cameras entering the Golden Gate Bridge. I wanted to talk with others in the same situation but I could understand how that may not be in the best interest of either party. Peace be with you Steven. Bonnie. Reach out to someone, anyone because I can tell you they have no idea how you feel. My sons father committed suicide and in the moments he was alive after shooting himself he kept saying sorry I shouldnt have never done this over and over. West was last seen on the Golden Gate Bridge onSept. 30, 2020 just before 7 a.m., according to the San Francisco Police Department. West's family urges anyone with information about the case is asked to contact Scott Dudek, their investigator, who can be reached at 925-705-8328. More often than not, the crisis passes. And half of people who die by suicide had attempted suicide at least once previously. Footage in the area, according to a website the family recently set up in light of her disappearance, was blocked by fog and morning haze. He says he fully expected to speak with her the next day and became very worried when she didnt return multiple calls from him.
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